Sunday, May 11, 2014

Honoring the Left-Out Mothers-To-Be or the Mothers that Want to Be

I remember when we were adopting Million, I always felt left out on Mother's Day.
When you're pregnant, you can celebrate Mother's Day before you've even got a baby in your arms.
Because, hey....technically you're a mother by physiological standards.
But it never felt like I could celebrate Mother's Day when we were adopting, even though we had gone through much more emotional and thoughtful preparation than most parents who grew their family by birth.  Even after we passed court.  I was a mother on paper, and I didn't feel like I could celebrate Mother's Day. Until he was home.   I'm not really complaining or feeling any emotions.  I'm just commentating tonight on how pregnant ladies get to experience Mother's Day before they have a child home, and at least for me, I didn't get to experience it until afterwards.

So tonight....if you're in the midst of an adoption process, and you're feeling left out....
Happy Mothers-To-Be day.
You are a beautiful woman.
You have a caring heart.
You've ached and cried over children who are not yet in your care.
You've opened yourself and splayed your life out in very vulnerable and uncomfortable ways for inspection.
You've hoped for a social worker's or an agency's or a birth parent's approval.
I honor you, mother-to-be.
You, who ache deep, and love hard, and wrestle with God's timing.

Tonight, if you're struggling with infertility and have longed for a child...only to have that door shut in your face over and over and over again, I honor you.
Because I'm not God, I can't promise that you'll ever fill the title "Mother" in the exact way you long to fill it.
But I know that you are valuable.
I know that you are beautiful and caring and would make an excellent mommy.
I know your heart aches on days like today.
I know you've cried many, many times and wondered at the unfair lot you've been given.
I honor you, dear friend.
Happy Mother's day.  And I pray that in the future, your wishes and dreams will be fulfilled, over and above what you've imagined.

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