tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18013935177031317072024-03-12T17:21:56.612-07:00Everyday DoxologiesHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09496203933580303223noreply@blogger.comBlogger517125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-64146200221583483022015-05-28T18:52:00.000-07:002015-05-28T18:52:51.232-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Things are quiet over here in Everyday Doxologies online existence world, primarily, because things are so noisy in the real life that is ours.</div>
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It's the pleasant time of spring-near-summer that the garden is at just the right point of looking beautiful before the ugliness and unruliness of production and bearing fruit and vegetables takes place.</div>
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This is just a short post to say that as I was driving in my car this morning, I nailed down three things that I "should" believe but don't often live like I believe. (This was in relation to some ongoing challenges in our lives.)</div>
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1. God is for me.</div>
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2. God is with me.</div>
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3. God is powerful.</div>
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If I really REALLY believed those three statements----*especially* in the midst of hard moments---what would this world be like? How would my life be changed? </div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-33832485089760348702015-03-25T12:02:00.000-07:002015-03-25T12:02:21.838-07:00Water<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So....a health challenge I haven't brought up here.<br />
For the entire month of March (so far), I have not drunk anything except for water. I have made an exception for green smoothies, because that's how we get the boys their vegetables several days a week.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Green Smoothies are serious business in our house.</td></tr>
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But no tea, coffee, fruit juices, sodas, etc. I have allowed myself to be spoiled and spice up my water with a slice of lemon every now and then or a few drops of grapefruit essential oil. <br />
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But other than that... straight water.<br />
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Never have I craved my tea more than now.<br />
Or coffee with dessert. Because there's something so wrong about eating a piece of carrot cake without coffee. <br />
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-81541912436357096052015-03-20T08:58:00.000-07:002015-03-20T08:58:43.276-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We have a deal going on in our house. If I work out 20 times in one month, our whole family is going to go to <a href="http://tonicfreshjuice.com/">Tonic, a local juice bar and restaurant of locally grown and ethically sourced food.</a> This week I'm at five workouts in four days. (We had a zumba instructor come to MOPS, so there was one workout I hadn't planned...)<br />
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Oh, my aching abs. <br />
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-27182209910836627382015-03-15T19:16:00.001-07:002015-03-15T19:16:24.002-07:00Chickens and Veggies<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The chickens have finished their moulting and are producing eggs again. To celebrate, we've had homemade souffles twice in the last two days. <br />
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This last week, we all watched a TEDx talk about organic farming and food allergens. Million and I watched it first for homeschool, and then Michael and I watched it later and have been discussing it ever since.<br />
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We admitted that we don't know exactly what is in the food our chickens are eating and that it would be better for us to search out a source that had less mystery involved. So our first string remedy is that I've e-mailed many of the grocers in town to determine what happens with their "bad" produce. Secondly, we have found a source for organic chicken feed. <br />
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Why would we raise chickens for the nutritional benefit if we didn't even know what they were eating when we bought conventional chicken food (which could very likely be filled with soy and GMOs.) <br />
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Okay. So there's that little step toward food freedom.<br />
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We've also decided that we're going to have a more intentional and focused garden this year and we'll be getting a large portion of our food from a CSA. We've had fun with a CSA in the past, but the portions in the boxes were small. We've been purchasing vegetables from the farm we've chosen, and this is their livelihood as opposed to a hobby farm (our first CSA choice a few years ago.) We know the quality of their produce, and we also know that their will be sufficient supply, weather permitting. Our own garden will have the vegetables that we know how to grow well and that we know we use in large supply. <br />
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-31215508463388704572015-03-06T10:36:00.001-08:002015-03-06T10:36:23.266-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-41763143299861563392015-02-25T08:42:00.003-08:002015-02-25T08:42:23.235-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I'm going to take advantage of a few minutes of silence to type out a few thoughts. </div>
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We're re-doing the larger portion of our house. A lot of it is for personal pleasure, but we do have a larger goal of hospitality in mind. </div>
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That being said, a lot of our furniture is being donated or repurposed.</div>
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Our craft cabinet has made its way into our bedroom. And we'll be having a dedicated craft "studio" in a few weeks or months, so we'll see what the purpose for this will eventually become. </div>
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Just kidding about the silence. The two boys both just woke up and are immensely crabby. So I get to leave you with pictures that I intended to write about. </div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-18227818057237222542015-02-15T12:25:00.004-08:002015-02-15T12:25:57.868-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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And so it's been almost a month since I posted.</div>
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Or caught up on blogs in any form.</div>
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Apologies.</div>
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A lot of things have been bloggable.</div>
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But I'm still in the stage where I find it difficult to both eat breakfast and shower in the morning before Michael goes to work, because Jubilee hasn't sorted out her nighttime feedings and what time she'll be hungry in the morning yet. And so I get to choose one or the other. </div>
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No complaints, really. Because she's adorable and generally an easy baby.</div>
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This weekend, Michael bought me a FANCY sewing machine.<br />
One that does stuff when I just press a button.<br />
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Really. It has cars, trailers, bikes, and all sorts of little stitches that the boys love.<br />
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So I plan on getting myself together and making a little sewing studio out of a part of our basement. Because Michael is actually planning on making a little entrepreneurial studio for himself down there, so we're hoping to share a longer room together. <br />
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As far as my 60-day fitness challenge goes....it hasn't been. I did really well the first two weeks, and then my body told me in more ways than one that I was pushing myself too hard immediately after giving birth. So I'm choosing to wait a little bit. I anticipate starting working out in a week or two. For now, we're just doing the healthy meals, homeopathic remedies, and high water consumption. <br />
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We also have humungous plans for house projects for the year. We like to dream big. And usually we can manage accomplishing our dreams.<br />
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As part of our plans to move to France, Michael met with our missions pastor. There are some changes in that arena. Our church would like to support us as missionaries. This is a new and scary place for me to walk into. We had a lengthy period where we were trusting God for every penny, and now to put our salary back into His hands is a challenge for me. Along with that, Michael has been applying for different higher-level positions at his current employer with the idea that we'll at least be here for another year, so he might as well get one more "life experience" out of this employer. <br />
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In any case, Michael is moving forward with some of the suggestions that the missions pastor had: one of them being a step into leadership roles and intentional discipleship of people around us. So we are going to be opening our house to a group of men that Michael will be leading. In light of our house being used for a group study, we need to make some changes. For example, we need more seating. Our living room currently only comfortably seats six or seven people in our furniture. So we're looking at options and budgeting for a sectional couch. But it also needs to fit my standards of beauty, because our home needs to be a refreshing and peaceful place to abide in....so we'll see what we come up with. <br />
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I have much more to talk about, but very little time, and I need to be brainstorming for a minor kitchen redo, a minor living room makeover, and a craft studio. And figuring out homeschooling and healthy living. I do enjoy hearing from you all, whether here or on facebook.</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-16795314190820273232015-01-19T09:30:00.001-08:002015-01-19T09:30:46.824-08:00A Story About Eggs<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"The other day, I went back to the chickens, and I found an egg. It was an egg that was badly broken. It was smooshed all over and seeping out onto the ground. Do you know what that egg reminds me of? It reminds me of you. You're feeling angry right now, a little bit broken. Did you know that there is nothing so broken that God cannot fix it?"<br />
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As I sat listening to my husband talking to my oldest, tears welled in my eyes. <br />
What Michael didn't tell Million was that the particular egg he was describing was an egg that one of our chickens had cannibalized. With the cold weather, the egg froze before we could get to it and cracked open. Sadly, one of our chickens thought it an adequate food source instead of being willing to move down the ladder 3 feet to the feeder. We will have to determine soon which chicken it is and get rid of it, or the chicken will teach the rest of the chickens to eat the eggs.<br />
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Like that egg, Million has been pecked on by others. He has never had a "fair" chance at life. His course was predetermined for him. He has had so many circumstances both in Ethiopia and here in the United States that could lead a child to become angry and embittered. <br />
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But...<br />
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There is nothing so broken that God cannot fix it.<br />
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And that is our hope. Our faith. Our prayer.<br />
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We acknowledge that we may never see complete healing in him.<br />
But we press on.<br />
Because our God is a healer who delights in making broken things whole. </div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-29315432978451432492015-01-18T12:27:00.000-08:002015-02-15T12:27:57.926-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Yesterday was our grocery shopping day, and I decided we needed flowers this week.<br />
<a href="http://everydaydoxologies.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-choice-i-had-to-make.html">Because of this</a>.<br />
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It seemed to be all over the place during Jubilee's birth. <br />
When I was in labor, I was serving the boys breakfast at the table.<br />
Million prayed "Dear God, please help Jubilee to come today. But if you need to take her to heaven, we will try to understand. She would be happy there, I know. Amen."<br />
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And then he asked why I was crying.<br />
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Following my delivery, the family med resident came in to check on Jubilee. As it turned out, it was the family med resident who was on rotation during my miscarriage last January.<br />
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The triage room that I was in was the SAME room. Again. <br />
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By categorizing these memories, in no way am I ungrateful for my healthy daughter.<br />
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Isn't she lovely?<br />
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In some ways, it's to remind myself that Million grieves our other child too. I've written some of his comments on facebook about babies and death. He has a deep heart.<br />
And he loves babies so tenderly.<br />
<br />
As we come in a few days to the year anniversary of losing our baby/babies, I think we're as "at peace" about it as we ever will be. I am blessed to know many older women who are extremely honest, and several of them have told me that I will likely never "get over" a miscarriage. It will always be hidden in the crevasses of my deepest core. <br />
<br />
And I'm at peace.</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-3513087298651242692015-01-14T09:09:00.000-08:002015-01-14T09:09:02.688-08:00The Year of the Body: 60-Day Fitness Challenge<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'm four days into a fitness challenge.<br />
<br />
What?!<br />
<br />
When I was writing my goals for "<a href="http://everydaydoxologies.blogspot.com/2014/12/2015-year-of-body.html">The Year Of The Body</a>," I knew that <a href="http://www.t-tapp.com/">my workout program of choice</a> normally had a 60-Day challenge at the end of January every year. So I wrote that down in my goals for the year. And then I found out that it actually started January 10th this year. The week before my due date, I e-mailed several trainers and asked them if I should even sign up for the challenge, knowing that I couldn't give it "my all" since it would be so close to delivering a baby.<br />
<br />
The trainers all agreed that they would love to see me join the challenge as an inspiration to other women, to be able to show results of what this workout can do for a woman who is looking for a gentle postpartum exercise regimen. So I decided officially on the start day of the challenge that, yes, I would participate.<br />
<br />
Let me state that taking my "before" pictures just days after giving birth was NOT my cup of tea. <br />
And that those "before" pictures will not be gracing the walls of the internet's photo gallery any time in my life. <br />
<br />
As part of this 60-day challenge, my plan of action is:<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Completing 30 workouts. The two workouts I've chosen in particular are the "gentlest" of the seven or eight I own. One is 15 minutes long, and the other is 30 minutes of walking workout.</li>
<li>Drinking 96 ounces of water daily.</li>
<li>Dry brushing my skin twice daily. </li>
</ul>
I don't anticipate this blog becoming a fitness journal of sorts, but I did want to mention it for vulnerability's sake. I have NEVER done anything like this before. So far, I've completed two workouts, which has me on course. <br />
<br />
While I'm on the topic of the Year of the Body, I'll throw out some more of the things that we're heading into this year.<br />
<br />
Michael is planning to go completely decaf (or half-caff if we're at someone's house) this year. He also is planning on having a big salad before every dinner, in order to fill up on fibrous veggies and greens before he eats our "main meal." He'll be getting a fitness tracker; he is just trying to decide between two different brands right now. <br />
<br />
We both are experimenting a lot more with homeopathic remedies, including the use of essential oils. I started experimenting with them two years ago, but I was not completely comfortable using them during the courses of my pregnancies. Along with these, we are beginning some vitamins and supplements. (Vitamin D, notably....hello, Minnesota winters.)<br />
<br />
I am endeavoring to have at least one smoothie each day, filled with fruits/veggies/good-for-you stuff. <br />
<br />
We're not embracing a "diet" at all. We have no specific "weight loss" goals. We just know what we need to do to be healthy, and this year we're intending to actually do it. <br />
<br />
Later on this year, maybe in the later summer, I intend to do a personal 60-Day challenge when I can complete the workouts to the level that I would like. I'll retake "before" photos then, and we'll see if I feel comfortable sharing those or not. </div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-80821005607961014232015-01-13T12:29:00.000-08:002015-01-13T12:29:32.178-08:00Jubilee<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
All three kids are in their proper beds.<br />
And it's the middle of the day.<br />
Please note that I didn't say "sleeping." That would be too magical.<br />
<br />
Here is Jubilee.<br />
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She has been a joy to our family.</div>
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I decided that this time around, I'd save writing my "birth story" for my journal...but I can share some of the things that I am grateful for about the whole experience.</div>
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>I am grateful that I got the chance to hold her right after delivery.</li>
<li>I am grateful for people watching the boys at our house.</li>
<li>I am grateful that the hospital staff obeyed my instructions and limited the number of people that were in and out of both the delivery room and my postpartum room.</li>
<li>I am grateful that the minor health issues she was born with were quickly resolved. </li>
<li>I am grateful that she is, so far, a very contented and happy baby. </li>
<li>I am grateful for an amazingly quick recovery and entrance back into the "real world" that has gone so smoothly.</li>
</ul>
The one thing that stuck out to me after this experience is how each of my children's entries into our family were perfect in their own way. Each was completely different, but I wouldn't change anything about them. Meeting Million for the first time was no less miraculous than my unmedicated childbirth with Creedence which was no less miraculous than Jubilee's birth which required some medical assistance. Even our miscarriage was perfect in its own way, as I was at a mothering conference being poured into and pampered. This concept of each child's entry into our family being perfect is enough to make me pause and smile at how opinionated we can be about life and how it "should be". Because I have had a different experience each time, I have no soapbox to stand on about how a particular way to build a family or to go through childbirth is better than another. <br />
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To sum up all of our gratitude, I'm going to post the lyrics to Jubilee's hymn. Each of our children has their "own" hymn that we sing to them to comfort them or before naptime, really whenever. Jubilee's hymn is "I Love to Tell the Story."</div>
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I Love to Tell the Story </h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">(words by A. Katherine Hankey, music by William G. Fischer)</span></h4>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif;">
I love to tell the story of unseen things above,<br />Of Jesus and His glory, of Jesus and His love.<br />I love to tell the story, because I know ’tis true;<br />It satisfies my longings as nothing else can do.</div>
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Refrain</div>
<div class="chorus" style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-style: italic;">
I love to tell the story, ’twill be my theme in glory,<br />To tell the old, old story of Jesus and His love.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif;">
I love to tell the story; more wonderful it seems<br />Than all the golden fancies of all our golden dreams.<br />I love to tell the story, it did so much for me;<br />And that is just the reason I tell it now to thee.</div>
<div class="chorus" style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-style: italic;">
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Refrain</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif;">
I love to tell the story; ’tis pleasant to repeat<br />What seems, each time I tell it, more wonderfully sweet.<br />I love to tell the story, for some have never heard<br />The message of salvation from God’s own holy Word.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Refrain</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: serif;">
I love to tell the story, for those who know it best<br />Seem hungering and thirsting to hear it like the rest.<br />And when, in scenes of glory, I sing the new, new song,<br />’Twill be the old, old story that I have loved so long.</div>
<div class="chorus" style="background-color: white; font-family: serif; font-style: italic;">
Refrain</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-45260061498103527042015-01-08T13:47:00.000-08:002015-01-08T13:47:05.815-08:00She Has Arrived<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Our little joy arrived on Monday of this week. Our lives have been beautifully blessed with our Jubilee Shalom. </div>
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So far, everything has gone immeasurably smoothly with the addition of our little girl. </div>
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Eventually, I'll get time to type more about her....maybe not a birth story per se, but a more proper introduction. It's our first full day at home today, and Michael's back at work. I'm trying to keep proper perspective here, and for some odd reason blogging doesn't make the list. </div>
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My two goals for the day were: 1) show the kids that I love them. and 2) give myself loads of grace.</div>
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So far, so good. And Michael will be home in an hour. </div>
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Hopefully, I can keep this up.</div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-69743968657216344002014-12-31T11:46:00.001-08:002014-12-31T11:46:32.496-08:002015: The Year of the Body<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Remember how I announced that 2015 was going to be<a href="http://everydaydoxologies.blogspot.com/2014/11/that-word-body.html"> the Year of the Body</a>? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'd actually prefer that you didn't. Because that could save me some vulnerability and more awkward openness than I'm comfortable with right now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I told you I'd flesh it out a little bit in a future post. I guess I've got a bit of time on my hands now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I got all technical and made a purpose statement for 2015. Because I can do that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My intention for 2015 is to wholeheartedly embrace health, fellowship, and sacrificial servanthood as a way to glorify God in my body, in the body of Christ, and in the manner that Christ's body was broken for others. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sounds like fun, huh? Especially that sacrificial servanthood part?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white;">I know my propensity for over-verbalization when it comes to ideals and goals, so I'm going to keep it brief and bullet-pointed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="color: #222222;">Body: Health. We've been hit so very hard this last year with more illnesses than ever before. This year we'll reclaim our health through various means. A quote from Sally Clarkson is inspiring me: "We need women to do the work now, so that they have something to talk about later." I <i>know</i> what I need to do for optimal health. I just need to do the work and quit researching obsessively. I've got some fun things lined up and am really excited about helping Michael accomplish some of his health goals for the year as well.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222;">Body: Fellowship. This year, I plan to intentionally interact with those that are placed in my path. I plan to not only interact, but speak into and lean into the lives around me so that I can be a blessing to others. We really took a year off after changing neighborhoods and churches and just let ourselves be tended to and nourished...and now it's time for us (me) to start ministering to others in my church and in our neighborhood. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #222222;">Body: Sacrificial Servanthood. This is the one where things could get awkward and messy. Basically speaking, being a mom is hard. Being mom to a child with a traumatic background is even more difficult. I've been contemplating the story of how the shepherd left the 99 sheep to go search after 1 lamb, and that's what we both separately have decided to do this year. I need to focus in deep and intentionally on my one lamb (while not avoiding the others) in order to win his heart back. When he first came home we embraced some popular conservative parenting philosophies regarding discipline and ended up with a child who obeyed out of fear of consequence rather than a child who obeyed out of love for his parents. (We fortunately made a shift before our second little "lamb" came home, and he does not struggle with this as much.) This year will be a year of relentless pursuit. Where the sacrifice comes in is parenting him in this way will require a sacrifice of time, "breaks" that feel justified as a mom, a sacrifice in saying what I want to say when I want to say it and how I want to say it, and a sacrifice in looking like a "good parent." </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="color: #222222;">So, 2015: The Year of the Body, I'm (almost) ready for you. </span></div>
</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-20517812498712798792014-12-30T08:47:00.002-08:002014-12-30T08:47:51.336-08:00Fancy Bracelets<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Yesterday I went in for what was supposed to be a routine schedule your induction appointment.<br />
Four hours later, I left the "appointment" with a fancy bracelet.<br />
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Turns out I got influenza sometime in the last four days. (I'm vaccinated but not interested in a debate here....) My pulse was going fairly high because of the flu, and I was really dehydrated. Because of those situations, Jubilee was moving less, which was concerning to the midwife. <br />
<br />
So I got to spend three hours alone. In the exact room that I had my miscarriage.<br />
<br />
Finally, after they were beginning to start talk about another bag of IV fluids, I (gulp) pretended to feel better than I actually felt, just because Michael and the boys were still waiting in the lobby for me.... I knew the boys would be confused and concerned----especially Million. <br />
<br />
Jubilee is perfectly fine. No induction is scheduled at this point, because the flu and the fetal movement concerns trumped induction scheduling.<br />
<br />
I am grateful for medical care.<br />
<br />
I am grateful that my legs and ankles were pre-pregnancy shape this morning (thank you IV fluids.) It's the little things. I know how to prevent swelling, but I've been incredibly lazy about it this pregnancy. Sigh. But I had ankles! And small(er) calves! Proof that my feet won't look like over-risen yeast rolls forever!<br />
<br />
I am actually grateful I spent time in that room. It was something I was struggling with mentally, the thought of going into labor with Jubilee and potentially being admitted into the same triage room. But now that I've had a different experience in between, which turned out fairly positively, I'm not as anxious about it. <br />
<br />
For now, our whole family is pretty much down for the count with this flu. But Michael is able to work from home, and his symptoms don't seem to be so bad today. He's taking on a lion's share of the housework, so that I can rest. I am spoiled. </div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-24825272457853512032014-12-29T00:47:00.000-08:002014-12-29T00:47:08.322-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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We took our family photo and nearly covered the Christmas tree entirely because (shhh!) we only put up one-third of our Christmas tree this year. It fit into a corner better that way. Jammies were just not going to happen for Michael and I this year. (More for my sake than his.) For posterity's sake, I'll give the pregnancy details: this picture I'm 39 weeks and measuring 43. It's lovely.<br />
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I inherited a cold from someone in my family and cannot sleep tonight. This afternoon I'll have the appointment where my midwife schedules an induction to claim a spot for me, unless things go differently.<br />
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And that's all. <br />
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-64932098108326538562014-12-25T10:24:00.002-08:002014-12-25T10:24:55.335-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The last few days of waiting for a baby seem like a mixture of having your house on the market (because you don't want to leave dirty laundry or dishes to deal with) and waiting for impending doom/the rapture (because every meal or shower could be "your very last.") <br />
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We're still here. Still waiting for Jubilee.<br />
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And it appears that it's Christmas....so I have more photos than words.<br />
Merry Christmas, to you and yours!<br />
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-32786515416010453432014-12-16T12:14:00.002-08:002014-12-16T12:22:47.415-08:00Remembering and Looking Forward: Come, Little Jubilee<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">O come, little children, O come one and all,</span></span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">To Bethlehem haste, to the manger so small,</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">God's son for a gift has been sent you this night</span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">To be your redeemer, your joy and delight.</span></i></span><br />
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I've avoided taking a family photo this Christmas.<br />
Partially because I'm behemoth at this point, and our usual "jammie picture" would not end up being excessively flattering.<br />
Partially because we don't know if Jubilee will be here for Christmas or not, so we might as well wait.<br />
And partially because this will be our first year with a forever-on-this-earth-incomplete family picture.<br />
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I've waited for a day when I wasn't feeling hormonal or excessive amounts of self-pity to type that, because I really want to give people an honest picture of miscarriage loss and not just a lot of words driven by emotion. <br />
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This loss is odd. Because it's so intertwined with our expectancy of Jubilee.<br />
We couldn't have our Jubilee if we didn't have the loss.<br />
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At the very base of her name, it means joy or celebration. But the reason we chose her name was because it was a time of remembrance, a time devoted to freedom and restoration in the Bible.<br />
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And as we expect our Jubilee, we remember our other child. <br />
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We also remember that we weren't promised an entire lifetime with our kids. We've known that from the very beginning, having missed part of Million's life. But death kind of sinks it in differently--especially death when there are constant reminders of the lack of a person's life.<br />
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We remember that our lives can be filled with joy and that grief doesn't have to imprison us. <br />
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We remember that the one that binds up the brokenhearted and sets the captives free is the one who tenderly leads us through the various seasons and stages of our lives. <br />
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We remember as we look forward. We look forward to the day when heaven and nature will truly sing. We look forward to hopefully years with our new little one. We look forward to excitement and adventure and living our lives with intentionality. We remember and look forward to walking in the grace and freedom we have inherited as children of a King.<br />
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So come, little Jubilee.<br />
Grace our house with your life....however long it may be.<br />
We will live lives of joy. We will walk in freedom.<br />
We will celebrate the gift of life.</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-50906885620164242192014-12-16T08:43:00.001-08:002014-12-16T08:43:15.058-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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In the moments between obsessive nesting and Christmas activities, I find myself with a lot of alone time. I get a lot of time to reflect and think, and that's what this introvert requires for healthy emotions. I'm stocking up beautiful memories and quiet moments because I know that for the next four or so months, I'll be a soggy mess of postpartum hormones and minimal hygiene. </div>
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I have a lot on my mind right now, but seem to be lacking words for it. So I'll leave you with a few of my beautiful quiet moments from yesterday.</div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-33546263132846276532014-12-11T20:12:00.001-08:002014-12-11T20:12:36.305-08:00Old Pictures, New Pictures, and Sleepwalking<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Tonight I spent a large portion of the night looking through old pictures.<br />
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Like this one.<br />
Half of it was trying to go through old pictures and delete a bunch that I really won't ever scrapbook (other people's life experiences like weddings where I don't need 80 pictures to remember.) I tried to get pictures to a bunch of people before I deleted ones that I didn't need anymore.<br />
Fortunately, I was relatively up-to-date.<br />
The other half was spent looking at pictures from immediately after Creedence's birth to try to remind myself how tiny babies are. <br />
Like that one above, where he was about two weeks old. <br />
And I was sleeping. And very pale.<br />
Hello, anemia.<br />
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Sleeplessness? I don't really remember that. Apparently it happened. I'm an insomniac usually, so I'm familiar with it. Speaking of insomnia and odd sleeping bits: I slept walked for the first time in about 20 years last night. I woke up, and I was in the kitchen holding a "postage due" envelope that I intended to put in our mailbox. (Free shipping on eBay sometimes ends up costing you 40 cents...) But that was weird. <br />
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And then there are these two loves.<br />
This is not an old picture.<br />
This one was taken today immediately after some baths.<br />
(I probably should have waited for photos, in retrospect, considering Creedence looks like a greaser.)<br />
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I just needed to close out my day with a cute picture of them. <br />
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-4793091821591885232014-12-10T08:01:00.001-08:002014-12-10T08:01:30.650-08:00Nothing is Secular, Everything Is Sacred<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My mom sent out this Spurgeon quote to "the girls" in my family last night. I thought I'd share it with you as some thought for your day.
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<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-stretch: normal; line-height: 21.75pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #464646; font-family: 'Lucida Sans Unicode', sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">“</span><span style="color: #464646;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">To a man who lives unto God nothing is secular, everything is sacred. </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #5b5b5b; line-height: 21.75pt;">He puts on his workday garment and it is a vestment to him. </span><span style="line-height: 21.75pt;"><span style="color: #464646;">He sits down to his meal and it is a sacrament.</span></span><span style="color: #5b5b5b;">He goes forth to his labor, and therein exercises the office of the priesthood.</span><span style="color: #464646;"> </span><span style="color: #464646;">His breath is incense and his life a sacrifice. </span><span style="color: #5b5b5b; line-height: 21.75pt;">He sleeps on the bosom of God, and lives and moves in the divine presence. </span><span style="color: #5b5b5b; line-height: 21.75pt;">To draw a hard and fast line and say, “This is sacred and this is secular,” is, to my mind, diametrically opposed to the teaching of Christ and the spirit of the gospel…</span><span style="color: #5b5b5b;">Peter saw a sheet let down from heaven in which were all manner of beasts and four-footed creatures, which he was bidden to kill and eat, and when he refused because they were unclean, he was rebuked by a voice from heaven, saying, “</span><span style="color: #464646;">What God hath cleansed that call not thou common</span><span style="color: #5b5b5b;">” [Acts <span class="aBn" data-term="goog_858012184" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; position: relative; top: -2px; z-index: 0;" tabindex="0"><span class="aQJ" style="position: relative; top: 2px; z-index: -1;">10:15</span></span>; 11:9]. </span><span style="line-height: 21.75pt;"><span style="color: #464646;">The Lord hath cleansed your houses, he has cleansed your bed chambers, your tables… He has made the common pots and pans of your kitchens to be as the bowls before the altar – if you know what you are and live according to your high calling. </span></span><span style="line-height: 21.75pt;"><span style="color: #464646;">You housemaids, you cooks, you nurses, you ploughmen, you housewives, you traders, you sailors, your labor is holy</span></span><span style="color: #5b5b5b; line-height: 21.75pt;"> </span><span style="color: #5b5b5b; line-height: 21.75pt;">if you serve the Lord Christ in it, by living unto Him as you ought to live. </span><span style="color: #5b5b5b; line-height: 21.75pt;">The sacred has absorbed the secular.”</span><span style="color: #5b5b5b;"><a href="http://www.spurgeongems.org/vols19-21/chs1205.pdf" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank" title="~ Spurgeon"><span style="color: #3cbbb8;">~ Spurgeon</span></a></span></span></blockquote>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-77663495545284187392014-12-08T20:21:00.000-08:002014-12-08T20:21:54.747-08:00When I Try to Transcribe Million's Stories<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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We've been a sick house once again for the last 10 days.</div>
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I have not been as good about stifling complaints as I purposed to be.</div>
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I went to a midwife appointment today, and there is no news to be shared. Jubilee's still measuring big, still head down, and due date is still up in the air. </div>
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Michael has been reading The Hobbit to Million at bedtime. With homeschooling, to be honest, I've been lax lately. (He isn't technically even in kindergarten, so I don't feel guilt over this.) However, I am amazed at how much he picks up just through conversation with Michael and I and from listening to books. After The Hobbit, we'll probably do a more relaxed book. He's enjoyed Roald Dahl and C.S. Lewis books and Mr. Popper's Penguins (actually, Creedence likes that one as well). I'm not sure what we'll move onto. He really does like the books with heroism and villains to be defeated, though. Maybe a tamed-down version of Robin Hood? Or Peter Pan? I suppose Michael and Million still have 14 chapters to go before I plan the next thing. They only read about every other night, because the chapters are lengthier---they take Michael anywhere from half an hour to an hour to read after Creedence goes to sleep. </div>
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Today Million made up a story for about a half an hour. I tried to transcribe it midway through for about three minutes, and then I gave up, because I was already losing about every eighth sentence. This particular story was narrated while he was playing with a pipe cleaner that he was pretending was a snake named Flumungo... This is verbatim.</div>
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<span style="color: #262626; line-height: 16px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"One day he was trying to be sneaky and sly and hissed at his grandma. He climbed up way in a tree. The snake saw something. "What? Is it grandma swinging along?" said Flumungo. He looked under the branch and he looked at his tail, and grandma wasn't sleeping. She's still snoring under the blanket. Flumungo didn't understand. He crawled under grandma's blanket and snored with his tail sneaking out of the covers which were very sly. He was very sneaky. He got out and slithered off in time for his breakfast. Flumungo was awake. Grandma was there. "Hello!" Grandma called. But grandpa didn't answer. So Flumungo woke up Grandpa. Grandpa didn't answer. "Grandpa! Wake up with joy." Grandpa went "ugh." But Flumungo hid because he was scared of grandpa tickling him. "He will not tickle me if I hide!" he cried. So he messed up grandma's blanket. Uh-oh, Grandma's blanket was ruined. Grandma was angry when she came in the room. She saw her blanket wrinkled and the sad, sly snake, but just as the doorbell rang, his family and sister were here. He crawled and hissed off. "What is all this clothing?" said Papa. "I will never like to crawl." So he hopped off and laughed, and he smiled at his daddy just as daddy tried to climb. But mother just hissed, "Hi, you guys, I will never ever let you go." But daddy just turned back and just smacked his shoe just as Mr. McGregor came and saw some clothing and yowled "Who is that snake lying at my grandma's door?" "It is I! I took out the clothing!" And then Mr. Gregory tried to smack him, but he was a frog." </span></span></blockquote>
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And the story continued on for another 15 minutes. The boy can seriously talk. And listen. </div>
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When he wants to. I'm still working on actual narration skills for after we finish reading school paragraphs. Free storytelling and"What do you remember about what we read?" are two completely different things. </div>
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I would not be surprised if part of Million's life adventure was to be a storyteller in some way, shape, or form. </div>
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Million and I have been talking about and memorizing 1 Corinthians 15:58 lately. We talk about how each of us has a work that God wants us to do, and we need to be steadfast in doing that work. </div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-86579007746593601312014-12-02T09:44:00.001-08:002014-12-02T09:44:54.641-08:00Eggs and Paper Christmas<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I am grateful today because we have a "normal" amount of eggs in our fridge this morning.<br />
We're not talking about the 8 or so eggs that will probably show up by the end of the day.<br />
There is a great divide between what a person *thinks* 3 to 4 dozen eggs a week will be like and what it is actually like when chickens are on the premise. <br />
By no means am I complaining, I'm just recording this for memory's sake.<br />
I am so grateful for food.<br />
And hoping that Jubilee doesn't have any egg allergies. <br />
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We're continuing our paper Christmas. The boys made Christmas song ornaments this morning, where I would sing a Christmas song and they would draw what they thought about during the song. Then they got to snip the edges with scissors and hang it up on the tree By Themselves. Two thirds of our ornaments are now sideways or upside down, but it's their Christmas tree too...<br />
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In real food news, I've managed to use the chia seeds twice. Once, I hid them in some pizza sauce, and everybody knew they were there, but nobody thought it tasted any different. Today, I hid them in some oatmeal cookies. I know the chia seeds are in there, but I can't detect any difference whatsoever. So, hooray for fiber! And magnesium!<br />
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Both boys are sick right now, and I am dreading being the third invited to the party. Hopefully I've built up an immunity simply by virtue of being the recipient of 8000 snotty kisses a day. We'll see how the rest of this week goes. <br />
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-45101680480292560222014-12-01T13:31:00.001-08:002014-12-01T13:31:05.620-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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No photos of Thanksgiving dinners here, despite the fact that we had two lovely opportunities.<br />
I forgot my camera both times.<br />
And I really don't mind.<br />
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We're in Jubilee prep mode. It's beautifully exciting and also bittersweet. <br />
A friend lost a baby a couple nights ago, and there was grief again.<br />
I don't really have insightful thoughts today. <br />
There is plenty on the mind, but not much that needs to be aired to the public. <br />
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I'm yearning for simplicity. Yearning for peace. Yearning for joy. </div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-61880054700775409902014-11-26T20:01:00.001-08:002014-11-26T20:01:44.895-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Two new things that made it into our grocery cart this time around.<br />
Michael gave Million a choice between dried blueberries and dried figs. Figs won out.<br />
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And I have a hidden stash of grapefruit that the boys will NOT find out about. <br />
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It was this guy's second birthday today. We had a simple "just us" celebration. He got one present, an apron made to look like a firetruck, which the boys will realistically share. <br />
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We read about 18 books, some more than once (and this is my reminder to myself to switch out our books on our "upstairs" bookshelf...I need some new ones to read to the boys, or I'll go crazy). Then Michael read some of the same books to Creedence when he got home from work, but translated some of them into French. <br />
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Now we're settling in for a quiet evening of watching eBay auctions and playing solitaire. And sending each other semi-coarse memes about essential oils. Because they're funny. Like this.<br />
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Classy.<br />
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And Happy Thanksgiving.</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1801393517703131707.post-23941237166183476482014-11-24T19:58:00.000-08:002014-11-24T19:58:34.273-08:00That Word: Body.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Today in 21 words: <i>Bread baking, essential oil ordering, Christmas shopping, cloth diaper washing, soup making, reading, grocery list writing, mothering, cheese eating, and heartburning. </i></div>
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That last one wasn't really a word. I made it up. My creative juices are coursing through every vein in my body.</div>
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You know how I didn't have a "word" of the year this year?</div>
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I've already decided my word of the year for next year.</div>
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You all are rolling your eyes since I'm not only skipping Thanksgiving but Christmas in my mental meanderings. (Isn't she supposed to be writing some sappy post about what she's grateful for?)</div>
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Body.</div>
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Yup.</div>
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That's my word. It's been showing up repeatedly in many mental corridors. It's stalking me.</div>
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But who wants to write a blog post around December 31st when everyone else is choosing words like "serenity" or "flexibility" or "relationships." (You sweet things.)</div>
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Obviously there are some physical implications of this word. But there are relational and spiritual elements to it as well....which I'm sure I'll flesh out when I'm feeling more verbose.</div>
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Really....who chooses "body" for their word of the year? </div>
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Apparently I do. </div>
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After it chases me down.</div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0