Monday, April 8, 2013

"He's Going To Be Loved"

Tomorrow BonAmi leaves our family.
We decided to tell Million last night, because he was in the middle of an "I love BonAmi sooooo much. He is my best dog.  He loves me too," speech. 
I think we took it harder than Million did.
The gist that we tried to convey to him was that BonAmi was going to a family that would love him very very much.  And that he would not be coming back forever.

His face fell.

And after he was safe in bed, with his "happy" on*, I cried.

When he woke up this morning, I broached the topic again and just reminded him.

We re-thought our stance about just telling Million that BonAmi "isn't here."  He is a boy that needs preparation in advance.  Flexibility is NOT in his game right now.  If we are going to a new place, we verbally go through things that might happen at the new place or things he might see...or he freezes up (usually still in situations where there are large groups of people or many children involved.)  If we're going on a trip, we start talking about it weeks in advance.  So even two days might not be enough preparation for him to deal with the loss of his beloved pet, but I figured that any preparation would be better than not explaining it to him.  Since he is almost completely a verbal processor, I expect many many many conversations for weeks, months, and years to come.

We've had a lot of sad to deal with lately as a family.
But also, in a lot of ways, I feel like our family (the fab four) is a lot healthier as a family unit.
The gardener pruning away the weeds and whatnot.  

And I'm healthier as a person.
I'm starting to "create" again.  (One of those words, like "redemption," that is overused and often used with only a fragment of the word's original meaning...) 

Here's a bit of an afghan I'm starting for Creedence with old scraps I had around the house.

Here's the beginning of some brainstorming about some throw pillows.

I'm thinking of repainting our living room.  Part of my birthday present will be a new coat closet door that requires some construction/dry walling.  I'll be painting anyway, and I think it might be time for some new colors in my life.  It's been 5-1/2 years of "Enchanting Ginger."  Funny how much you can change as a person in that amount of time.  I still love the color, but I need something more neutral and less...I guess "confrontational" would be a good word(?)  Here's a picture of it, so you can see what I'm talking about.

So things around here are different.  Some sad things.  Some fresh things.  Some exciting things around the corner.  And through it all, our little family keeps trying to find peace---the way God intended it.  Shalom...

*Lemon essential oil on his wrist that he is instructed to smell when he feels sad or scared.  It's harmless---more of a placebo effect than anything.  But it gives him a small measure of control over his emotions.


  1. I'm so sorry that you have to say goodbye to Bon Ami. He sounds like a really good dog. It sounds like the right thing to do, but I'm sorry you have to do it. It sounds like things have been pretty tough for you guys lately - I hope you are okay. xx

  2. Hard. So hard on a momma's heart too. Holding you close in my prayers.