Welcome, Welcome, Second Son!

What do these movies share in common?

Hint.  November Boy is here, and they have something to do with his name.





Creedence Shepherd (Creed for short) made his arrival this morning at 1:10 a.m.
He was 8 pounds and 9 oz and was 22 inches long.

Since we announced Million's name with Louis Armstrong's "Thanks a Million" we only thought it would be fair to have a little music with this post.  :)

The reason we chose Creedence's name is that we wanted something that would really represent who we are and what we believe in.  We're pretty set on choosing names with meanings that our kids can carry throughout their years as a blessing to them, instead of just choosing a family name, a Bible name, or a name that sounds cute.  We actually chose Shepherd as a first name initially, but the thought of someone calling him Shep as a nickname made me cringe.  Shepherd was chosen to represent one of the functions of Christ, just like Million has Christ as Advocate (Kumelachew: "He stands for you") as part of his name.  We chose Creedence (the Puritan spelling) because it means to establish a firm or strong belief.  A Creed in itself is a well thought out written statement of belief, like the Apostles' Creed in the song above.

We're grateful (or "happy to God," as Million would say) for this new little life, and we'll be writing more about him and posting a few more pictures in a few days.  

Even if It Is Artistic

Bear with me, there might be a couple weeks of insomnia affecting the quality and content of this post. 

Michael and I were doing Sudoku's last night, and all of a sudden Janis's line from this clip came into my memory.  And I started cackling like a toothless old woman, while imagining myself saying it to nurses in the birthing center.

Not exactly Thanksgiving material, but it brightened my day.
And I still chuckle each time I think about it.

I actually have my midwife appointment tonight.  That means that not everybody else in our group has delivered their babies (although I did run into the husband of one of the ladies who delivered an 11 pound 6 ouncer...yikes!)  It will be nice to get out of the house.  Our other wild plans for the day include a family budget meeting and going on a trip with Michael to buy some more lumber.

Yesterday because dinner was taking a while longer than usual to heat in the crockpot, I decided to do some distressing on a bookshelf that needs to get out later this week.  We brought Million down to the workshop (he thinks it's the best place on earth!), and he and Michael played with some PVC scraps.  They were playing "Jabberwocky," one of Million's favorite made-up games.  I had the hardest time containing my laughter at the very serious and athletic snickersnackering of their "vorpal blades."

Insert paragraph about parenting philosophy on young boys playing with weaponry.

Michael and I did get to play with two new stains last night after Million was asleep: mahogany and classic grey.  We (okay, mostly Michael) worked on a stain demonstration board for our business that I could take photos of today and make up some new listings before the holiday rush.  I've been enjoying Michael's "new" workshop, which I have yet to take decent pictures of.

Fortunately, we have plans for the next three days, so blog posts might be fewer and farther between.  But rest assured that if November Boy hasn't shown up by Sunday, you'll get your regular dose of "Heather is stir crazy" postings. 

Family of Three and Four Loaves

This weekend we did a lot of "family of three" activities.
Although every time we counted that we had three in our family, Million would say "Oh, oh, oh! Mommy! Don't forget BonAmi!"

So we celebrated being a family of "four" about to turn "five."

The dog didn't really notice the sentiment.

Michael's pretty much quarantined me to our house for the next few days, until he's off of work for the holiday.  I might get a free pass for a midwife appointment.  This morning's stir-craziness has led to one finger-painting session, two loaves of banana bread, and two loaves of whole-wheat molasses/white swirled bread.  Actually hand-made, ya'll.  No breadmaker was harmed during any of my baking this morning.  This might be my first time having made my own yeast bread completely from scratch since Million's been home.  I had forgotten how therapeutic it is.  Glad I didn't lose my touch.

Now to find something else to do that doesn't really need to be done.

My Little Cheese Puff

News Worth Mentioning and Not Worth Mentioning

In exciting news:

Million wasn't a bully today at MOPS. He was, however, unfortunately quite disobedient when he got home.

You win some; you lose some.

In less exciting news to you, but still exciting news to me:

I am nearly done Christmas shopping.  As in, I just need to click order and pay for the Christmas gifts in my shopping cart.  I needed to get this done quickly, because my brain was starting to consider gag gifts appropriate.  Of course, we'll be making some handmade creations also, but we budgeted a very small amount of money for each person on our list this year.  

In not exciting news:

The ladies at MOPS today told me that they think I look "too comfortable to give birth any time soon."  

Also, I nearly cried because of a pinched nerve while grocery shopping in the yogurt aisle on Tuesday night.  Michael made me go out to the car to avoid further embarrassing situations. I had to relinquish control of my grocery shopping experience.

In "should I be a little possessive and jealous?" news:

The lady who fingerprinted my husband yesterday told him in a coquettish way that he had some good-looking fingerprints.  

In boring news:

I actually packed our hospital bags.  I am now officially left with nothing to do to "nest" should I have the urge.  I have resorted to Sudoku puzzles.

So....any news with you?

A Testimony Of God's Provision On A Very Good Day: Finding Money

I've mentioned that Michael and I are taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University currently.
I really only have positive things to say about how it has helped our marriage and our financial situation.

But today I have VERY positive things to say about it, and how God provided immense amounts of money through it.

We have an adoption bill looming.  Our dossier submission fee has been a heavy rain cloud over our heads the last few months.  I've been dreading December.

You see, because we started an adoption while pregnant, our agency requested that we have our dossier overseas by December.  Which was not our plan.  We had planned February or March, maybe April when we get our tax refund, or whatever. Spreading out the babes a little bit and being a little more financially responsible, what have you.
And I understand their reasoning by all means.  When couples get pregnant, they lose their zeal for paperchasing, (and with fatigue right now, I'm so understanding of this) so agencies have a bunch of inactive "active" couples sitting around that they have to maintain. By setting a deadline, they were ensuring that we were/are serious about adding to our family by adoption.

Financially, we didn't know if we could swing the financing of submitting our dossier two to four months earlier than we planned on, without going into a larger amount of debt than we were comfortable with.

That's why we did a t-shirt fundraiser.  That's why we started several (sometimes very busy) home businesses.

But through watching these financial seminars for the last seven weeks and through doing the "homework" and having weekly financial meetings (biweekly business and biweekly family budget), we had a discussion stirred by our last meeting and realized we had a large sum of money sitting around that we didn't remember (in relation to the time period when I was employed.)

Now it would be too miraculous of a story and a little suspicious sounding to you probably if it had been the "exact amount" we needed to send our dossier over.  It wasn't.  We still have to scrimp a little for the next month and a half.  But it was a very significant amount that (when added to what our crate-building business has produced over the last four months and what was provided through our t-shirt fundraiser) leaves us a "do-able" amount to squeak out of a rice and beans diet before our dossier needs to be submitted.    

You have no idea (or perhaps some of you do) how much financial strain has been lifted from our shoulders. As Michael says "Everything feels lighter." (I might protest, as I'm feeling pretty much like a beached whale today, but emotionally, I'm feeling much more stable and able to look forward to Christmas without wondering if we should even consider buying the boys Christmas presents.)

In summary, we love what Dave Ramsey's class has helped us accomplish so far and look forward to completing the course.
But even more than that, we are grateful that God allowed us to see Him provide for us through this earthly tool.

Waiting

Have you ever read Waiting for Winter by Sebastian Meschenmoser?
It's worth the read just to laugh at the illustrations.  I loved a particular page where a squirrel was running around---it depicted squirrel-like motion so well.  This is one of the few illustrations that can be found in google search, just so you can get a taste.

Well, we're waiting around here.

Million, in particular, is waiting for enough snow to accumulate for mama to proclaim "It's sledding time!"
Not likely to happen any time soon.

We have our USCIS appointments today for Baby #3.
We now have the second car seat in our van and our overnight bags in a semi-packed condition.
We're waiting.
But you know what?
It's not as hard for Daddy and Mama to wait this time.
It's something we've gotten pretty good at, by now.  

Classy Family: Fun Night

Palm sanding followed by pumpkin pie ice cream.
Followed swiftly thereafter by bedtime for Million and Mama.

Nesting And An Apology

I have to apologize for insensitivity.
I realized that to many friends and family members who experience childlessness (via infertility, loss of a child, empty nesting syndrome, etc.), that my recent posts could have come off sounding ungrateful.
After all, we waited nearly four years to bring Million into our home.
I waited 23 years to accomplish the life goal I set for myself as a child---to become a stay-at-home mommy.
I should be flowing with gratitude, effusively sweating it from every pore.
And I am.
Please forgive me if I hurt your feelings for one minute or if anything I wrote struck you as ungrateful.


It's just some days I have a minute focus. I focus on the sea salt on the cookies instead of the whole picture.

Although sea salt in and of itself is completely scrumptious.

(*chides self for ruining the deep philosophic impact of that metaphor*)

Today I got Million's memory verses for the rest of the year planned out.

Really, they're as much for me as they are for him.

Which is why they are usually set to songs and have hand motions, so Million's kinesthetic mommy can learn them just as well as her verbal processor can.

I'm learning so much more now that our little boy needs structure.  

And in order to prepare for a few chaotic months ahead, I need to plan out structured activities in advance.  Structured meals.  Structured habits.

This is my nesting. 

Nesting that involves nurturing the spirit of one child who still craves structure, who needs set routines, who needs boundaries that are fixed.
Nesting that draws mommy's spirit closer to the God who created order, so that mommy can draw strength for daily life.
Nesting that realizes how incapable I am to parent (and parent well, I might add) two robust manly boys, but that I rest in the hands of a very capable God.

This is the kind of nesting that is much more humbling than folding socks and finding dust bunnies in odd spots in the house. (And I *am* grateful to my mom who has been helping me so much in THAT nesting regard...although I'm not sure I'll ever get my hospital bag packed, I'm so unmotivated.)

It's much more tiring too, because old doubts, guilt, and fears keep cropping up, accusing me "You'll never be good enough; look at where you've failed."

Appropriately, Million's memory verse this week is Isaiah 41:10.

Do not fear, for I am with you;Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.I will strengthen you, surely I will help you.

I need that kind of help today.  And every day.

Bruce Banner, in the house

Michael just may have figured out something with our parenting issues of late.  He may be an absolute genius.

But I can't post too much about it.

Because it's only been:

3 hours since last incident.

(and to be fair to the little boy, there have only been two incidents in seven hours, a ratio I will gladly accept over the 30+ incidents a day we've had for the last several weeks.)

There is hope.

Fear-Tension-Pain Cycle

As of tomorrow, our pregnancy is technically "full-term" medically speaking, although I have three more weeks until our due date.
We attended our last childbirth/childcare education class last night.
Since we both worked/work in the medical profession in a very large medical community, I was shocked how few medical professionals will go to prenatal education classes because they "pretty much know how it will go."  Several nurses and doctors in my midwife group refused to go to classes and then felt nervous toward their due dates because they didn't know what to expect, hadn't visited the birth center, didn't know what a birthing ball was, etc.

I am so grateful that I was provided childcare both for last night's breastfeeding class and for our natural pain management six-week class.

It always keeps me mindful of the many women I met in Ethiopia who don't get prenatal education.

In prenatal education there is something called the Fear-Tension-Pain cycle.  Essentially, the less educated about childbirth a pregnant woman is or the more misconceptions about childbirth there are, there will be more fear.  The fear will cause physical tension in the body, which will send "bad" hormones (instead of relaxants) to the pain receptors, which produce more pain.  When the woman experiences more pain, it reinforces her fears, she becomes more fearful, and it is an endless cycle.

This is as true in America with people who choose to educate themselves solely based on what they read on the internet (or God forbid, TV shows) as it is in Ethiopia.  The Fear-Tension-Pain cycle can only be prevented by proper prenatal education and a supportive network.

Every time I think about this, I wonder about Million's birth mom's level of prenatal education.  Did she go through the Fear-Tension-Pain cycle?  Or was she well equipped?  It leaves me so humbled and so grateful that I have the privilege to not only be educated, but to CHOOSE to be educated.  I've mentioned on here a few times that a lot of what we've chosen with our pregnancy (to not overeat, to continue in levels of semi-strenuous physical labor, to have a nonmedicated childbirth with as little medical assistance as possible) were intentionally chosen so that I can understand in some minute way the woman who birthed my son.  I've been chided on a few occasions for this ideal.

People have told me that I am depriving my second son of a "unique birth experience" by focusing on my first son's.  I don't feel this is true.  My second son will be born in a "state of the art" birthing facility.  I will have access to clean, uncontaminated, water at whatever temperature I desire.  I have many non-pharmaceutical "tricks in my bag", so to speak.  I can pick and choose how much privacy I will have (until being transferred to postpartum, when all the privacy goes out the window.) My second son will have a unique birth experience, because he will be my first birth child.  I will never have another first birth child.

I'm often asked if I'm ready for childbirth.  Yes and no.  If I'm asked in a way that implies "are you just so ready to get this baby out?" it's a no.  I can endure this for a while longer, and it's an inconvenient time right now with some orders left open in our business and with Million needing a little more parental involvement these days.  If I'm asked in a way that is addressing more fears and physical preparations, it's a yes.  I can honestly say, I'm not afraid of the pain.  We've got everything set up (except for my bag isn't packed yet.) I'm not anxious about the unknowns.  The only things I tend to worry about are what time of day it will happen and how it will affect Million's time spent with my parents. (And if I'll need to pick Michael up from work...and who will feed the dog, etc.) Logistics are the only things I worry about, when I do worry.

If you're interested at all in helping relieve some of the Fear-Tension-Pain cycle in women in Ethiopia, I would heartily recommend looking into the organization Because Every Mother Matters.  If you're not able to help financially, or simply uninterested in Ethiopia, look for some ways you can help with prenatal education locally.  Is there a pregnant teenager in your life who could use some prenatal guidance?  Direct her to quality medical professionals.  Is there a shelter for battered and abused women in the area?  Ask them if they need books about pregnancy (you can always find them at thrift stores, and generally the information doesn't change THAT much.) Is there an adoption agency or pregnancy care center in your area for impoverished women?  Donate your used clothing, make rice socks for pain relievers, or see if they need office supplies.  See what you can do to spread awareness and try to eliminate this cycle.

Adoption, Pregnancy, and The Tower of Babel

Genesis 11:4  They said, “Come, let us build for ourselves a city, and a tower whose top will reach into heaven, and let us make for ourselves a name, otherwise we will be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.”

I've been thinking a lot lately about pride.
Pride in my life and pride in "Christian" circles.
It's not really a secret that I am proud of my little family.  This vacillates between a good, healthy kind of pride and the sinful kind of pride that "goeth before a fall."

I think families and the building of families are a huge source of pride in Christianity.  And sadly, it's pretty permissible  given our Biblical excuses. After all, didn't God tell us to be "fruitful and multiply" and "children are a heritage from the Lord?"

It's easy to see the pride in pregnancy.  I won't go into it in huge detail, but pregnancy and labor and how healthy you were and what you did and didn't do during pregnancy, or how easy it was to get pregnant, or how hard it was to get pregnant, and then the delivery stories (egads!) become a huge badge of honor or achievement for mothers.  (This is not limited to the church but becomes accentuated in Christian circles oftentimes, because motherhood is "the highest calling"* and that "the miracle of giving life to someone is one of the greatest accomplishments of man."**)

In adoption, I've noted that we often have pride over adjustment and attachment...or what types of needs we are open to parenting, or how many kids we can procure through various means.  Or even about what kind of snarky comments we received and how we respond to them.  Please don't misunderstand.  I wholeheartedly believe adoption is a beautiful way to build a family.  But it shouldn't be an identity badge for parents.  Yes, you parent differently and yes, your family looks different.  But you shouldn't be fighting for viability as a parent all of your days.  God placed your child with your family.  He believes you capable of parenting.

It's like we Christian parents are setting up our families like the tower of Babel----to make a name for ourselves, to be seen by everyone.  We care about what people think.  (I'm learning this myself each and every day, when I deal with my child who is a bully to other children.  It's more appropriate in Christian circles or parenting circles in general to have not had a child who ever went through "that phase" or to have the child who "was always the victim, so the other kid deserved it."  It's tough to swallow my pride and say, "Yes. I'm the mama of the boy who made your child cry today.")

How can we destruct our towers of Babel?  Brick by brick.
We can recognize that our family can become an idol.
We can be vulnerable.
We can keep our mouths shut every now and then.
We can take down sources of pride in our lives: our children's accomplishments and developmental milestones are not always of the utmost concern to God.  He cares about their hearts.
We can reconstruct our towers/families on a proper foundation: God's word and what is close to His heart.
We can model humility to our children.  We can be servants to struggling families we know.
We can refrain from judgement.
 We can view family in a broader sense of the word: our Christian family, God's church---our brothers and sisters---and affirm and build our Christian family up, instead of constantly building ourselves up.

This is hard.
But it will be worth it.
Join me in building your tower as a testament of God's mercy and His grace.

*Please note this as a fallacy commonly believed.  Motherhood is not the highest calling.  The call to repentance, followed by the call to sanctification through obedience and daily surrender would be the highest callings we can have as Christians.
** I may not be a well-studied scholar, but I believe that Jesus stressed over and over the importance of "if you love me, be a servant" or "if you love me, obey my commands" and not the importance of procreation.