Conversation With Son While Watching Birds

"Momma, you see the birds?"
"Yes, Million I see them.  What are they doing?"
"Dey eating dare brekfuss.  Dey berrrry hungry."
"Yes, they were hungry.  How do you think they knew that we give them food?"
"Dey sniff it."
"I'm not sure if that's how they knew.  I think they might have known because Daddy makes it a habit to take care of the birds.  Do you know what a habit is?"
"Uhhhhhhhh......No."
"A habit is something we do over and over and over again until we get ourselves used to doing something.  Just like we always talk about the day before you go to sleep at night."
"And den mebbe we snuggle?"
"Yes.  Sometimes we snuggle, but most days we make it a habit to pray for somebody and kiss and hug mommy and daddy good night."
"And dennnnnnn we go to sleep?"
"Yes.  That's one of our habits.    Daddy makes it a habit to take care of the birds, and they make it a habit to keep coming back for their food.  They trust Daddy to provide for them."

Most days, I try to teach my son something, and I end up learning the lesson.

Trust.

The Death of Napoleon and Other Sundry Thoughts

Instrumental music is playing on Pandora today---specifically a "Thanksgiving" station.
(My head and heart needed a rest from "All God's Critters Got a Place in the Choir."  Go ahead.  Click that link.  I dare you.)

Tonight, after Michael finishes one more big crate the size of the one above, we'll be caught up on orders.   And we'll sit down with some tea, light some of our "dud" candles, and watch The Avengers.  Because Michael deserves a break.

One thing that may or may not come up on this blog again is that we're going through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University sessions together as a couple.  We've been incorporating some of his financial principles for a while, but we are eagerly anticipating the day that we will be completely debt-free (including our mortgage.)  Saving for an adoption process and saving money to reduce debt simultaneously are causing some creative shifts in our lifestyle and mentality.

In other news, we caught a mouse this morning, and it is still in the trap.  I named him Napoleon, because he was so tiny that he got through a minuscule hole in our kitchen cupboard and caused havoc.  There will be no funeral service or wake for Napoleon.  Flowers and donations can be sent to me instead.  He appeared to have died valiantly, since the trap is standing upright instead of flat on the counter.  (I have not shown Million the mouse in the trap, since he and Michael are reading Beverly Cleary's Ralph S. Mouse series together currently.)  

Nesting? Or Decluttering?

Yesterday, all of the stars in the world seemed to collide and remind me how much superfluous "stuff" I have in a couple areas of life.

It's not one of those fun feelings.
Actually, no...it's really not a fun feeling.
And if you think it's a fun feeling, you can just leave.
It's one of those "I'm pretty sure I've allowed certain areas of my life to get out of control" feelings.
Which is not. what. I. want. to feel. right. now. at. this. stage. of. life.

Ironically it's hitting when our house is at one of the cleanest phases it's had in months---Michael's crate making business has now been moved into our basement, for the most part, ad our upstairs is still relatively presentable from our home inspection last week.
Our laundry is all clean, folded, and put away.  I have two soup bowls and spoons in our sink as our only dirty dishes.
Supper is made in the crock pot.  I have a menu plan written out for two weeks.  And life is the most "under control" it's been for a while.

It's not one of those "other people might see how out of control our lives really are" feelings.
It's an intimate "I know how much stuff I have lying around that I don't even like or that has been unused for years" feelings.
As a result, Million and I may be making a few donation runs to thrift stores this week, while I have the vim and vigor.

Some might look at this and call it nesting.
I think not.
If it is nesting, then nesting is an extraordinary guilt-inducing sensation and would not be an appropriate way to prepare for motherhood, if it is instinctual preparation indeed.

On that note, here are a couple of cutesy pictures of our activities from this last week.

We've been busy enjoying life.  And getting runny noses apparently.

Million helped me pick the last of our wildflowers before our first frost of the year.

Auntie Helen has the coolest toys. 

Million Quotables from the Week

I tried searching hard for some analogy about this week.
Analogies are not often my strong point, and yet I feel compelled to make them.
You're not even going to get any similes or metaphors.
(Easy reading, be gone.)

Actually, you can sit back and relax on this one.
It's not like I'd actually bore you with details about every single thing that happened in life this week.
That would be so....bloggish.

Here is the summary:

• We were self- and doctor-quarantined because of exposure to whooping cough and prophylactically medicated (for Million and November Boy's sake).
• Michael's crate business has taken another exciting turn, and we will now be vendors in a store near Philadelphia.
• November Boy is supposedly 17 inches long and 3.5 pounds, if you average four different "how's my baby growing" websites.  He also has use of all five senses, if you trust what you read online.  
• I played with two new stains because apparently according to all of the marketing books and what have you, our Christmas "line" is supposed to already be made and in our shop inventory.  Hardy har har.  So I experimented with an antique red stain, and I'm not sure if I like the results or not.  I much prefer natural wood tones.

Please note. I don't actually have my Christmas decorations out.  These are the "what never made it back into storage because I procrastinated" decorations.  I'm setting up an actual Christmas decoration day in...  get this...October, so we can photograph things for our shop. Because if we wait into November, I'm sure my pregnancy will cause much lack of ambition.

There.  The week in a nutshell.  

Million has been saying some "doozies" this week.  I've posted a few on facebook, but here are some more.

I did take him into a store once, because we were getting so stir crazy.  He talked all the way into the store and during while I was putting him into the cart.  The lady behind me patiently waited to get a cart, and as I apologized for taking so long, she said "He sure has a lot to say, doesn't he?"  To which Million replied in his loudest voice possible "The lady say I have a lot to say.  I do have a lot to say! I say a lot!"  Only about 20 people started laughing at him/me. 

And there was the bit in the same store where I took him into the restroom (hooray! he successfully told Mommy he needed to go!), and a woman was adjusting a....pants problem in back.  And Million say "That lady touch her bottom! That lady pull her pants down and up and down and up!"  (I'm actually surprised he didn't start singing "The pants on the lady go up and down" to the tune of The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round, since he normally inserts words into that song whenever he references up and down.) 

Moral of the story: Don't adjust your pants in front of toddlers, unless you want to be humiliated.  

Void of All Nutrition

In case anyone needs ample evidence of my imperfection, here it is.

I attempted (and succeeded) in making nutritionally void fruit snacks.

I found the recipe on Six Sisters blog, which I'm intentionally not linking to.  Every time you open a link from their blog, you have to go through layers and layers of advertisement.  If you want to see the recipe, google "fruit snacks gelatin and jello."

Some days require processed-tasting fruit snacks, and these did the trick for a whole lot less money. (And the recipe only makes a limited amount, so I won't be consuming ten packages of empty calories.)

Second-Born Syndrome

Left: November Boy's Blanket.  Right: Million's Blanket

I'm one of those annoying 2nd born/middle children who every so often feels like things have to be equal.
I got November Boy a blanket today.

I have yet to crochet him an afghan, dedicate a whole blog to how he came to be in our family, paint the room the boys will share in my predetermined Narnia theme, buy him a squeaky dog toy, etc. etc. etc.   Those things weren't bothering me as much (okay, maybe the afghan is...but I can always whip one up before Christmas.)  The blanket was bothering me simply because it was such a symbol of our expectancy for Million.

And that's all I have for today.

A New Chapter: Colouring Our World With Hope

Tonight we "passed" our homestudy.
While the paperwork is not actually in our hands, it feels good to be done with that once again.
So different than last time.
Last time we passed our homestudy, we went fairly immediately to Target to buy a hedgehog baby blanket for our little boy.  And I bawled in the car.  It felt so good to be approved and accepted.  Good to be endorsed in written form, especially after a bad relationship with our first agency's social worker.

This time, Million was already in bed, and my stomach was cramping up from a little too much sitting down in one day (we attended a wedding immediately prior to our social worker's visit), so we nixed the celebratory run to Target.  I camped out on the couch while Michael made me a snack while we watched "My Fair Lady".  There was not really a huge amount of emotion.  Just a "well, that was easy" feeling.  Maybe I'll get around to buying a girly something or other this week sometime.  I'm still working on procuring things for baby #2, so it's hard to focus on items for child #3.

One wise thing our social worker emphasized at our last visit was not to compare adoptions as "better" or "worse".  Each adoption is its own animal.  She said a lot of times people get disappointed or disillusioned with their second adoption because of the rose-colored glasses they had with their first adoption going so well.  (She did note that we might not have this issue because our first adoption process was a little....problematic...but that she just liked to tell people worst-case scenario.)  She said people get upset because the referral doesn't happen the same way, the wait time is different, the online networks aren't as supportive, and they don't connect with their travel group in the same way.  I think this is really wise advice, especially considering the projected wait times are so much longer now (and constantly increasing in length) than they were in early 2008 when we first started Million's adoption, and the general atmosphere of the adoptive community is quite a bit different than it was.

Currently, it's cold outside.  Autumn usually brings a little more Bob Dylan and Etta James into my life's soundtrack...so when I was thinking of a song to mark tonight's accomplishment, I was a little surprised to hear Chicago's "Colour My World" pop into my head. (My dad would be so pleased...)

But it's appropriate.  "Colour my world with hopes of loving you."

Reflections on Orange

A Letter to My Children About Beautiful Things

I went into a department store today to buy a wedding present off of someone's registry.
With Million.

A department store that makes you walk through perfume and jewelry and breakable glass things before you can go upstairs to the bedding and home items.

That was a mental breakdown waiting to happen.

We made it upstairs, however, safely and without many scoldings.

Shopping with children should be left to the pros.

One thing I couldn't help but notice though is how beautifully clean, unchipped, unsmudged, and undamaged everything was in the home section.  It made me a little wistful.  I like beautiful things. But liking beautiful things and affording beautiful things while in the midst of bringing two very different and special children home are on completely different ends of the money-saving spectrum.

Dear children of mine:Mommy may not have classic dishes, any kitchen appliance that hasn't been repaired at least once, a full set of measuring cups, or beautiful bed linens.  But Mommy has you.  Mommy has laughter at her mismatched bathroom towels.  Mommy has (recent) memories of cutting up a holey vintage tablecloth for daddy to use as shop rags.  Mommy and Daddy enjoy life and live it fully and intentionally. 
Mommy and Daddy do like beautiful things, and that is a reflection of their love for God.  God created beauty, and He Himself is beautiful.  But Mommy wants you to know that beauty on earth is marred.  It leaves us wanting more.  And that is intentional.  Because we will not be able to experience true beauty until we see God face to face.  
So while on this earth, appreciation of beauty is fine---unless it leads to covetousness, unkindness, or pride.  Having beautiful possessions is fine, too.  Just remember that possessions are not eternal.  People are.  
I love the beautiful son who is napping in his bed right now, the beautiful son that is growing inside of me, and my beautiful daughter that I won't see for a couple years.  Each of you are uniquely special, and Mommy and Daddy pray for each of you every day.  
Love,Mommy

My Little Compassionate One

One possible reason for my apathetic nature yesterday.  I am getting physically run down from too many "big weeks" in a row in many areas of life.  


I woke up today at about 10% of my normal energy and a head cold.

Not a good week for that.


I told Million this morning that I was sick.
He smiled at me.
And then he said: "Don't worry, Mama.  When I big boy, I go to the big statue and help sick people with Daddy."
Awwwww....

Oh, and the statue he was talking about?  I linked to it below.

(Might be potentially disturbing to some...but it is considered fine art.)

And when Million first saw it, you can just about imagine what he announced very loudly to any passerby. 

Mondays are for Low Standards

In many ways, I'm feeling more personally fulfilled this September than last September.
I mean, last year at about this point, we were just living day by day, freakout session by freakout session, chest x-ray by chest x-ray, lab test by lab test.
None of our family has Giardia this year.  That's a plus.

I may not be reading as many books and growing as intellectually polished as I would like.
I may not be doing as many service activities as I would like.
And I may not be living up to my many philosophical ideals (especially about nutrition and parenting) as much as I would like.

However, I am happy.
In related news, I may be wearing unwashed clothing to our social worker visit tonight.
I'm a happy mess.

2-Year-Old Moments

If you try to explain to a 2-year-old

that Daddy and Mommy's home-based business product is NOT an ideal place to play parking garage,

 this is the face you're going to get.

The Difference A Year Makes

A year ago, yesterday.

Prepping an Older Sibling

Bedtime tickles

How Daddy takes Million on a walk...Wears him out!

Million's First Woodworking Project, an M to paint and hang in his room.

What Million chose in the store as a present for November Boy. 

We/I let Million buy a present for his little brother.  It should not surprise anyone who knows Million that he chose two items with stars on it (there was a shortage of "moon" items, so stars just had to do.)  Our little Galileo.

We've been working on prepping Million for being a big brother.

We don't read him books specifically written about the topic, because none of the books are satisfactory, in my opinion.  They all try their best to prep kids for reality, but end up making a new baby sound like a terrible thing---subliminally.  The messages are "Mommy and Daddy will still love me.....but..."  and "Baby will be a fun thing someday...but..."

We've been talking with Million about what he'll get to teach November Boy and what November Boy will and will not be able to do.  Maybe that's not the best way to go about it, and maybe he'll be completely traumatized when November Boy comes, but it's working so far.  He knows from his cousins that November Boy will be wearing diapers and not big-boy undies.  He also knows from his cousins that November Boy will likely cry a lot.  He further knows that November Boy will not be eating pizza right away.  But he's excited about teaching November Boy how to eat oatmeal someday and that BonAmi needs to be treated with gentle hands.

We're working on ideas for labor and delivery time: getting Million a special toy to play with when he spends the night (or two nights depending on how things go) with my parents.  We're also going to have him sleep over there next month to test it out.  We're thinking about having a wrapped present at the hospital for Million so meeting his brother will be a fun experience.  (Michael's actually thinking one of those little bean-bag chairs so Million can have a comfy place low to the ground for when we allow him to hold November Boy.)  One good thing about our healthcare facility now is that they really stress rooming in with your baby instead of sending him down to the nursery.  My parents have home movies of me wailing "But he's MY baby!" repeatedly as a little girl because my younger brother was behind a glass nursery wall, and I couldn't take him home with me.  Michael is planning on taking Million on a big-boy date to get mommy some non-hospital food at some point during my two-day stay.

Obviously, we know that a lot can change in our plans depending on how my labor/delivery goes.  We just want things for Million to be as smooth of a transition as possible.  He has really developed quite the "first-born" personality, so we know that he'll be a great big brother.  We tell him when we see him doing "big-boy" things how proud we are of him.  

He talks about "baby ___________" a lot.  Whenever we talk about our family, he says "For Mommy, For Daddy, For Me-yun (his cute mispronunciation of his name), and for Baby ________."  Sometimes he adds "Baby 'Opia" in there.  He's got a definite grasp that November Boy will be a part of our family "when he gets borned."

As far as the rest goes, we'll just have to wait and see how he does.