Just Because

Letters I'm Unable to Mail

Dear caffeine,
I am greatly indebted to your services.
I can't ever repay the favor.
Humbly grateful,
Twitching Hands

Dear Cashier at Savers,
It was not kind of you to give my son a Tootsie Roll when I wasn't looking.
I know it was you, you sneaky old woman with yellowed fingernails.
He's not even two, and I'd rather he not take candy from strangers.
Sincerely,
Perturbed Mama

Dear shoulders,
I wish you weren't genetically sloped downward.
It would be nice for a purse to be able to stay up on you.
You disappoint me.
Love,
The rest of my body

Dear kitchen walls,
Be afraid, be very afraid.
Your "enchanting ginger" days are nearly over.
Yours, etc.
Painter-to-be

Six Months Behind, A World Ahead

 

We have our six-month post placement visit this coming Sunday. (Nothing like saving it for the last possible chance in the month that we were supposed to do it, right?)
That means that I'm only blogging today because I'm avoiding writing up our reports.

Because of our social worker's recommendations at our three-month visit, we've been very careful to avoid talking about our attachment in public forums.  We had only vaguely referenced it previously, but thought it was wise to maintain Million's privacy.

Suffice it to say, there have been very hard moments.
And beautiful moments.
And daily we thank God for bringing this little boy half-way across the world to be grafted into our hearts and family.
The little boy who hugs mannequins in stores.
The little boy who thanks God for oatmeal in the middle of a play session.
The little boy who loves animals, books, music, and cars.

Here is about where I should put a little paragraph about "we don't think everyone SHOULD adopt, but everyone should consider it yada yada yada..."  But I can't bring myself to do it today.  I've gotten past the point of using my blog as a soapbox (knocking on wood!), and I'll just leave those kind of convincing paragraphs to the more talented writers.

Adoption is hard, beautifully and wonderfully hard.  However, being a first-time parent, I'm not sure how much of the beautifully and wonderfully hard is from adoption and how much is just from parenting.

I'm grateful I have the rest of my life to delineate between the two.   

Teaching History to a Toddler

I checked out some books from the library today.
Two of them were historical children's lit.   (Note, there were other nonsensical books and simple stories; I am not trying to rob my son of his childhood, just to provide a broad scope of children's literature.)

One of the historical books was about Abraham Lincoln.
And the other was about Edgar Degas.

I had a hard time not laughing during the temper tantrum my son threw because I put "Aybeeham Winky" back in the bag after nearly an hour of his not even letting me read it.  He just liked looking at the cover and saying "Aybeeham Winky smile; Aybeeham Winky happy."  I managed to hold my composure through the temper tantrum, until he was distracted enough.  Then I guffawed.  That was our belated President's Day celebration today.

And Degas?  When I said "Degas" Million looked at me and said, quizzically, "Mommy pray?"
Maybe we'll save Degas until he can delineate between "Degas" and "Dear God." 

Big Changes

Last night, in discussion with Michael about a potential large change, I compared my sometimes irrational fear of change (even when I'm looking forward to jumping at change in the exact same second) to an anatomic free radical.  I'm learning to speak my husband's language, ha!

My analogies often fall flat, apparently---but I thought the free radical one was one of my best yet.

About some other changes:
We are almost to the point of being certifiably crazy.
We're thinking of moving Million into a big-boy bed within the next month or two.

Now, I know this isn't crazy to experienced moms....it just feels crazy.
I'm just trying to make all of the "big" changes gradually.
We're nearly completely weaned off the bottle and onto sippy cups and big-boy cups.
We've been practicing "big-boy bed" time in one of our twin beds.
We've been also talking up the "potty chair" like it's the coolest thing in the world.  That particular change will not be coming until after April.
But it IS the coolest thing in the world.
And if you tell Million otherwise, you will be blacklisted.

I've bought some touch-up paints for the walls of our home and will likely be repainting in our kitchen and (get ready for this) Million's room probably within the next week or so.   Paint fumes may or may not lead to more blog posts.  We will see. 

Amos McGee and Consonant Clusters

One of the beautiful blessings of being a stay-at-home mom (a privilege that I don't take lightly) is that I get to see minor changes in Million's development each and every day.
It's seldom that I say "when did he pick that up?" because I know that he didn't know how to do or say such and such a thing the day previous.


I am well aware that I might not be as observant with a second or third child (and it kills the second born/middle child in me every time I think about it.) 


But it is what it is. 


This morning he started saying the "ch" consonant cluster while we read one of our family favorites, A Sick Day for Amos McGee.  

He now likes to go around pretend sneezing.  "Ach-ooooo! Ach-ooo! Amos, Ach-oooo!" 

Million, Michael, and I all love this book.  I love the illustrations and the vocabulary that is less commonly used in children's books (for example, "ambled".)  We've been all snuggling in Mama and Daddy's bed and reading it as a bedtime story after other books (mostly Beatrix Potter books, but some others also.)  Million also has been "reading" it to me in the morning after Michael gets on his bus.  

C.S. Lewis believed that a truly great children's book was one that was enjoyable for an adult, too.  We learned that lesson yesterday, after I checked out a book from the library that Million enjoyed but Michael and I absolutely hated reading to him over...and over....and over... 

Lesson learned.  

One fun thing that I'm planning to do is to check out all of the notable children's books from this year  from our local library to find a few new books we like.  If we make it through this year's list, we'll work on past years' lists.   

For those interested in books, I'd encourage you to check out this blog, written by a children's librarian, who happens to have extraordinarily good taste (she married my brother.)

Talking to Yourself Versus Listening to Yourself

A while back, my mom told me something she had learned---the importance of talking to yourself instead of listening to yourself. 

I thought I would share some of my listens and talks of today. 

Listening to myself:

"Why can't we have _______ now?  What is God's timing in this?  How am I going to make it through the day with ______ circumstance?  Am I being firm enough in my child rearing?  What if ______ happens?    I did a bad job handling my emotions in _____ circumstance.  I need to be better.  I need to be smarter.  I wish I had studied more about _________.  I wish my will power was greater. "

Talking to myself:

God has lavishly loved you.  

He gives good gifts.

He is our provider and gives us what we need when we need it----even if what we need is a hard thing to handle.

He has wildly blessed you.

He has already paid the penalty for that sin, and to repeatedly beat yourself up over it is telling Him that He didn't do a good enough job paying the penalty.  

You are His.  

His grace is incomprehensible. 

He is enough.

Be satisfied, oh my soul.

Talk to yourself today.  

What I've Missed Blogging About (And Valentine's Day)

Things I missed blogging about:

1. Million being home for six months.

2. Washing our 1000th diaper.

3. The Superbowl. 

4. The Grammys.

5. Whitney Houston's death.

6. A couple weeks(?) of my Pinterest Thursdays.  Woops.

Today was Michael's last day of work in his job of the past 5-1/2 years.  Wednesday he starts his new (business formal attire only) career.  This will take some adjustment. 

We will also be having our 6-month post placement visit later on this month. 

My parents came over this past weekend and helped with many projects around our house to get our house "market ready" in the next year.  My dad helped Michael put up some trim and repair a hole in our dining room ceiling.  My mom touched up some paint and trim, and then both of my parents helped me with this.

We took our old border down in our kitchen and are looking for a new paint color, probably grey.  Don't you love the grape motif that was there when we bought the house?

I finally finished my yellow pair of socks (after two years).  Take it from me, never leave two years between starting and finishing a pair of socks.  They might not turn out the same size, if your knitting becomes more loose over the years.

A while back, an internet friend kindly sent me a knitting book.  Since I've finished my pair of socks, I plan on making this quick little sweater for a niece, due to be born in May.

We'll be making lotion in our house again tomorrow.  We're adding a scent this time, to spice it up a touch.  We like to live on the wild side.  

Lastly, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow.  I just wanted to write here before all of the sap and sentimentality that drips tomorrow that I'm so grateful for another person in my arms to love this year.  

I've been contemplating 1 John 3: 16-18 today. 

16By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

Proclamations From Our Stuffy Kingdom

A video, a few weeks old, just because you wanted to see my son try to read a book and sing songs with a banana in his mouth.   


We're classy.


(He has since learned to pronounce "horse" a little more like "or?", always said as a question, not a statement.) 

For the last three days, our entire family has been waylaid by a head cold.  We're choosing to be grateful that it hit all three of us at once instead of in phases.  


Million's current favourite game is to run around our counter after either BonAmi or I and say "I get you!"  Million also loves my yarns, especially pushing them around in his Tonka truck.

This is a turkish yarn that I picked up for free (with a stellar coupon.)
He likes to say "turkey yawn."
It will become some socks for him after I finish a little sweater. 

This is a strawberry lemonade scone.  If I were to write a list of one thousand gifts like Ann Voskamp, I'm pretty sure 996 of them would be about this scone recipe.    Or about Ruby Tuesday's strawberry lemonade.  

I've been reading a lot of books lately, but it seems that Michael is making much more progress in the book department than I am.  Probably because he only reads two books at a time....and I...read more than that.  

I like to have a buffet of books.  A Smörgåsbord.  A nibble of this, a tad of that. 

That way, when I've had an exhausting day, I don't have to delve into a parenting book.  Or I can choose to delve into a parenting book to find out what I did "wrong."  Ahem.  

Or I can just avoid that and read books that I'll need for the future. 

Or I can skip reading books and play mindless games of solitaire after bedtime until I fall asleep.

Things they don't tell you about parenting #72: Baby Beluga is scientifically proven to overstimulate mommies' brains after the 83rd time singing it in a row.  

Things they don't tell you about parenting #73: Raffi is on at least one mommy's hit list.

and a big fat "just kidding."
we were all set to look at the horse ranch when we got a call that there was a bid in on it.
we're so not competitive about places at this point in time.
if they want the horse ranch, they can have the horse ranch.

serves me right for blogging about it.

A Horse (Ranch) is a Horse (Ranch), Of Course, Of Course

Why is it every time I hear "Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road" it is stuck in my head for at least four days?
You're welcome.

In related news, did I mention we're walking through the house on a horse ranch/farm today?

We've longed to live in the country for a long time.
We bought a "city" house that we live in currently, although it's actually in a small town.
We had previously rented a town-home in a very diverse, impoverished neighborhood.
And we're feeling like it's time to finally put some deeper roots into some soil, preferably country soil.

This time around thinking about finding a place to live is so very different.
There are a lot more questions this time.
There is a house that would have to be sold this time---which is my primary concern, I'll be honest.
There is a certain level of work that we don't want to put into a house with a toddler running around.

Here's a sneak peek at the front room of the house we're looking at today.   You think I'm actually stupid enough to link to the actual listing?  Nope.  Not that stupid.

We've walked around the outside (okay, technically trespassed) and looked through the windows and outbuildings twice.

But today we'll be actually walking inside.
We're trying to be very conscious of God's still small voice and are very open to just walking away from this property.

I was hesitant to even blog about this because of the blogging community that might bite back and say "you're such an American Christian, always looking for more, looking for better."  That might be true, but I have been constantly examining my heart for evidence of overindulgence and excessiveness (and if we told you the price on this property, you would hardly find it excessive).

If you're a prayer, you can pray for discernment and wisdom for us.  If you're not, you can cluck your tongues, shake your heads and say "what are they getting themselves into THIS time?!"