Weekend Warm Wishes

Going to be gone from here for a little while.
I'm going on a mini-vacation this weekend without "the boys."
Then next week we'll be waiting to hear the results of some major job-interviewage that Michael's been doing.

And you really don't want to read posts like: "I just chewed my last fingernail off, but I googled it, and google says I'll be fine."

So here's my warm wishes that you'll have a safe and happy weekend.

Lessons From A Familiar Song

Jesus loves me this I know...
The tired mother rocks her screaming toddler back and forth, back and forth, singing for what seems like hours on end.  He needs a nap.  She knows he needs a nap.  He knows he needs a nap.  He is completely dysregulated and barely functioning.

For the Bible tells me so...
"Bah-bo?"
"Yes, Bible, son... like in our other song that we sing."
"duh-BEE-duh-BEE-duh-BEEEEEE...  Bah-bo."
"Yes, dear.  The B-I-B-L-E is the song we sing about our Bible..."

Little ones to Him belong...
Mother tries to emphasize this by holding her little boy tightly... remembering that he is not her little boy, but God's little boy.  God has lent her this little boy to hold, care for, and nurture for a short while.  That means times of endurance like this.  Times of holding screaming little ones.  Because the screaming little ones belong to Jesus just as much as the giggly ones.


They are weak but He is strong...
Then mother realizes that this song is not about her son.  Not this time around at least.  She is so weak.  She is the one who is incapable, uncoordinated, inept.  She is the one who cannot do this on her own.  But Jesus is strong.  Jesus is capable.  Jesus can do this.

Yes, Jesus loves me.
"Really, Lord, why would you love me?  I've made mistakes A through Z today.  And some other letters that have yet to be discovered."

Yes, Jesus loves me.
 "Your persistence does you credit, God.  But I've sinned so many times today.  I haven't glorified you in my attitudes.  I've been overindulgent in some areas of my life.  I've chosen laziness over diligence.  Why would you love me?"

Yes, Jesus loves me.  The Bible tells me so.
"Okay, Lord.  Your word says you love me---despite my flaws.  Your word says you forgive me for them if I confess them.  Your word says you are faithful.  Your word is true and to be trusted.  I accept that you love me.  I need your strength to carry on today if I'm to be the wife and mother that You want me to be.

She looks down.  Her son has fallen asleep during this prayer/song to God.  She brushes a remaining tear off her son's face, kisses him, and tells him that God loves him no matter what.  She's proof of that.

And then she places her little gift in his bed, creeps quietly out of the room, closes the door, and breathes a prayer of thanksgiving for the lessons she continually learns through the simple things in life.

Which Came First?

Dear Jesus,

Thank you for creating tea.

And bamboo knitting needles.

Amen.

Do you ever find yourself surprised when world history doesn't match how you thought it went in your head?

I had a "series of unfortunate events" known as history teachers.  I don't think I ever had an inspiring one.  Not a one in the whole bunch, until a humanities teacher my senior year.  In any case, this post isn't about history teachers.  It's about how I had something reversed in my head.

I thought crocheting came before knitting in history.

It didn't. 

Did you know this?

I began crocheting around age 5 or 6.  I had a Norwegian grandma (actually step-great grandma, if you're getting technical) who crocheted everything.    

I mean, not everything.  Not like this crocheted hamburger dress.  

But my Norwegian grandma crocheted a lot.  Enough that either she thought it would be fun to teach me, or I thought it would be fun to learn.  I'm not quite sure how that went. 

We used to have crocheting lessons while The Wheel of Fortune was on.  We'd sit on her couch and watch and try to guess the phrases before the contestants.  She usually won. I'd tell her that she should go on the show.  She'd look at me and then down at my pathetic attempt at crocheting, and she'd say "Focus on your work, Heather."  or "What a terrible hold you have on that crochet hook.  It's just not proper, but it produces consistent work, at least."

I think because I learned crocheting before I learned knitting (teaching myself knitting was one of my New Year's goal for 2010, and teach myself with YouTube's help, I did...), I thought that all of the world's history followed the same example.  Crocheting simply must have come before knitting.  It just had to be so.

During some research today, I found that not to be true.

From my research on wikipedia in scholarly tomes, I discovered that knitting did in fact come before crocheting.  

And my worldview has been rocked.  

Look, even the Virgin Mother knitted.  

While Baby Jesus practiced his cheesy senior portrait pose.

For future reference knitting in its earliest form was found in the 3rd to 5th century but began to use "modern" techniques in the 11th to 14th centuries.  Crochet appeared to have begun in the early 19th century.

There are no pictures of The Virgin Mary found crocheting that I'm aware of.  

And since this is the result of about 15 minutes of googling hours of exhaustive research, it must be true.

Smiles From This Week

Ha ha. Very funny.
I said in my last post that I'd post on Sunday about how our life has changed.
And it's Tuesday today.
That's evidence enough.

Some "everyday" things that have made me smile this week:

• An answered very specific prayer request.
• Million's way of saying "gentle."  As in, "In our family, we use gentle hands."  He runs around the house (following the dog), saying "DENT-oh!"
• The fact that I couldn't keep Michael's Christmas present a secret from him because I was too excited about it.
• Playing "tuckuh" and "pwee-car" (tractor and police car) for hours on end.  
• Hearing Million "read" himself books in the same rhythm we've read them many times over.  Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?  and Hop on Pop are his favorite rhythms to repeat currently.
• Watching Michael teach Million to throw big handfuls of leaves.
• Nearly finishing Million's second sock in his pair. 
• Having a Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers movie night with my sister. 
• Watching a YouTube video on 25 ways to wear scarves with my Mom and trying to replicate the various techniques, while Michael and my Dad "encouraged" us by Rambo-izing Million with an extra scarf.  
• Watching my man get satisfaction from his team winning on Sunday.  I am NOT a Packers fan (and never will be).  Nor am I a Vikings fan.  But something about seeing your husband happy about his team makes seeing a despised rival win (and barely, by the way) a little more tolerable.  Million does know the word "Bear" already.  Just saying.  

If you want to be matchy matchy with me this week...here are some recipes I plan to try.
Soft pretzels. 
Apple pie cookies. 

One Year Ago...(Referral)

One year ago we got an important phone call...
A call to tell us that we were matched with the little boy in this picture (the first of three pictures we saw of him that day.)









 Before I go into our blog posts from that day, I wanted to say that despite that it took a lot longer than the "predicted" time frames for Million to actually make it home, we are so happy with how God worked the details out for us.  We've been truly blessed.  Many times people tell us that Million is a lucky little boy.  And we don't agree.  He's not lucky to have had his family of origin and culture snatched from him.  We are the lucky ones.  Our eyes and hearts have been opened to new wonders and new worlds.  Our souls have been touched.  We will never be the same.  So this post is dedicated as time of remembrance to the many minute miracles that God does to change hearts of stone into hearts of flesh and change minds from entitlement to gratitude.  May God be glorified in our remembrance.


Here are some excerpts of our blog post from that day. 


Dear Lil' Dude:

We met you today.

Not physically, of course.

But we got to see your face and hear your name and all sorts of beautiful things.

I had been selfishly praying about your first name. I wanted it to be unique and brilliant.

It is.

Some details that I might forget a few years from now:

At 4:00 a.m., as your daddy was leaving for work, I was panicking because my cellphone was downstairs, and I might miss a referral call. Our agency is in a different time zone.... but even that did not necessitate panicking at 4 in the morning.

Your daddy worked a day shift and came home. He bought 25 pounds of Cortland apples on the way (he was supposed to get 25 pounds of Haralsons, but the bags were poorly marked.)

4 o'clock came. (our agency would have been closed.) Grandma and Grandpa F were coming over any minute to do some work on our bathroom project.

I got a cellphone call that said it was from our social worker, which was kind of odd. Still don't know why it was routed through her phone.

I am so happy, Lil' Dude, that your daddy was standing right there and was able to hear the referral call with me. It's more than I ever dreamed.

My boss was kind enough to give me the rest of the day off. I wouldn't have been able to type anyway.

You are a beautiful nearly 6 month old baby boy, with the thickest little lips and a head full of curly hair.

Your daddy and I have been using phrases from the doxology all afternoon, so there is no better way that I can think to end this letter to you...

Praise God from Whom all Blessings Flow

Praise Him all Creatures Here Below

Praise Him Above Ye Heavenly Hosts

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Amen.

Love,

Mama

....

At 4 o'clock, we figured our agency was closed for the day (because it's 5 in Virginia.)

My phone rang, and the number that showed up on the caller ID was our social worker in Minnesota's phone number. I figured she could be calling to just check in on us, since it's almost been a year since we last verbally spoke with her. Also, we were still number four on the list...so a referral wasn't probable in my mind.

It wasn't our social worker.

It was our family coordinator who somehow was routing through our social worker's phone in Minnesota. She said "Hi, Heather, it's ______. Is Michael there? I've got some happy news for you."

Michael saw the confused and panicked look in my face and came into the office.

I had a hard time remembering how to put my phone on speaker phone. But it happened.

For half of our referral call, I was trying to figure out how to get our camera on the video setting. I must have pressed every button at least 12 times. I finally got it to work, and captured some very nonflattering angles of both of us, where Michael doesn't do anything because he's so focused on clicking "refresh" over and over again to get our referral e-mail.

.....................................................
More on how life has changed to come tomorrow...

Socks and Jimmy Durante

A pattern has been found for socks that fit Million now and will grow with him.
The toe was kind of a slipshod job because I was trying to finish it between blood draws and a doctor appointment.  But I'll still finish the pair.  The other foot will just have a more perfect union as far as the toes are concerned.

I'm actually thinking about making a pair of socks for everyone in our little fam for Christmas.  Million and my pairs are half done, so it's really only Michael---possessing the largest feet--that I would need to work on in the next two months.

Today Million walked up to me with a clean diaper in his outstretched hand and said very pronouncedly "boo boo."  Stink.  He knows what he's talking about.


There remains nothing to be said today except to shout in angst "Why did Jimmy Durante get an extra heap of life wisdom and thought-provoking phrasings?  He must have stolen my portion!"

"you've got to win a little, lose a little
and always have the blues a little
that's the story of, that's the glory of love."

Wordless Wednesday

Million and His Boo Boo

If I was at all the superstitious kind of person, I'd not be posting it on our blog.
But since I think it was just a succession of two fluke events, I feel comfortable posting it.

A few days ago, Million walked up to me and said "boo boo" (his word for "poo poo").  It was not, let me say, his normal time of day for this.  I decided, "what's it going to hurt?" and checked his diaper.
There was indeed a "boo boo".

He did it again today.

Tra la la.  It was the joy of my day, imagining that my little boy actually knew what he was talking about.

Until I thought "Oh shoot, that means potty training is sooner than I'm imagining."
I've decided that we're just going to pretend it didn't happen.

(Here is where I should insert a completely unrelated picture to get the idea of potty training out of my head.)

The Think System

Million is breaking four teeth at the same time: two upper molars, two lower canines.   

Yesterday he endured his first kiss from a girl.  We were playing in the mall play area, to try to find some diverse playmates---or just kids in general---when a 4 or 4-1/2 year-old girl in a tutu/princess outfit ran up to him, kissed him on the cheek, and then ran away.  He was slightly taken aback.  

Yesterday, a wise woman I know shared with me and some other women something that she learned a long time ago, but she has since lost the source.  So it's from someone really smart...but we don't know whom.  The topic we were discussing was how to know if you should say something, or in other words, how to prevent yourself from being rude or tactless.

Her acronym was THINK.  And you thought I was referencing The Music Man based on the title of this post, didn't you?  Come on, admit it.  

T= True... Is it True?

H= Helpful... Is it Helpful?

I= Inspirational... Will it Inspire them?

N= Necessary... Is it necessary to say?

K= Kind.... Is it Kind?

I'm seriously hoping that God will use this acronym in my life to help me choose my words wisely when dealing with situations where my spirit longs to give people the "what for."  I thought it would be a good thing to share with all of you, too! (Ha ha... I'm not saying you're tactless.  I just thought everyone could use a good reminder now and then.)    

The verse that my friend also shared with me was Psalm 141:3 "Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips."

Alas, for shame! There are no cute pictures to be posted today.  

There.  And then three links for the day, although I'm fairly certain most people who read this blog might have already seen this particular blog post.  For those interested in more ideas about a Fair Trade Halloween, see this post.  For those interested in finding Slave-Free chocolate sources see this post. (The latter link is for my future reference.  I'm not trying to soap-box-ize my blog here.) 

The Faithfulness Of God On Average Days

God is faithful.

Usually that's a phrase you hear people say on really good days or really bad days.

But He is faithful on the average, nothing exciting happening, waiting days.

(And I know a bit about waiting.) 

It's Million's bedtime.  Michael's worked a lot of shifts in the last week.  I've got a headache and am a tad tired.  I'm losing track of how many shifts Michael has picked up.  But God is faithful.  (And He gave me a great servant-hearted and sacrificial husband---but that's another post for another day.) 

God is faithful to provide patience, endurance, peace, mercy, yes, and rest.

God is faithful to His Word.

He keeps His promises.

God is faithful to His people. 

God is faithful to His church.

God is faithful to His character. 

So this was just an average girl on an average day talking about an anything but average God. 

He is faithful.

Pictures And Our Very Big Decision

 Haralsons are Michael's favorite kind of apple, hands down.


Deluge of little boy pictures.

Our little boy playing with "Bot-anty, 'tick!"  

And for those of you who aren't my "friend" on facebook: our big news of the week is that I will not be returning to work.  For various reasons this is a very serious exercise in trust in God's provision for us.

It's not a decision we made lightly.  We swayed back and forth between many options.  But this was the decision that was made after a lot of prayer and discussion and commitment to financial sacrifices in our family.

That being said, I will never endorse it as the end-all right decision for every family.  When I was a "younger" wife, and the main bread-winner in our family as I supported my husband through college, a woman made some very hurtful comments about how she found it very improbable for a woman to be a "good wife" and work at the same time.  Those hurtful words have stuck with me and serve many times as a reminder not to make the same mistake she did.  While it's been a lifelong dream and goal of mine to be a stay-at-home mom, I choose to exercise grace to those who cannot afford that option or who honestly do not desire that option.   It takes all kinds, right?

For right now, in my today, I'm so humbled that God and Michael are giving me this chance.  They believe in me enough.  Michael trusts me with the raising and nurturing of his son in a full-time capacity.

Trust me---it's humbling.

Parenting is Really Just a Trump Card Game

Most of my posts lately haven't been "heart" posts.
They have been "oh.  I have two minutes to spare, I suppose I should blog or I'll forget about this stage of life."

I've not been content with my posts, as they haven't depicted the varying (by seconds it seems!) emotions and thoughts that have accompanied some of the huge changes in my life.

One of the posts that I have been thinking over for weeks is this parenting priority ladder that we have (at least I do)  ingrained in our minds that leads to all manner of predicaments.  It's like a bad card game with too many rules.

When does affirmation trump respect?
When does safety trump consistency? (Safety almost ALWAYS trumps anything, until you add in the "he's got to learn about gravity/heat/drawers SOMETIME!" element.)
When does consistency trump affirmation?
When does attachment parenting give way to "you are not in charge of this situation, mama is in charge."?

I'll give you an example of a typical every-day occurrence. Million is grabbing BonAmi The Dog's mouth (which in our house isn't an issue of safety but would be an issue of safety if he learned it was okay to do so to every dog he met) and not listening to Mama, but he is really doing this because he is tired and teething.  I have to choose whether it is more important to address the disrespect to Mama, the danger of grabbing dogs' mouths, or if it is just  necessary to just give him affirmation that "yes, teething hurts, but we mustn't hurt others because of our pain.  let's go get a bottle and have a nap."  

It seems like every situation I need 45 seconds to sit and evaluate "what are Million's needs right now?  What would serve him best in the long run?"  And many times I only have 44 seconds to make the decision.  Or negative two seconds.  Invariably, I end up running through situations that I've totally addressed incorrectly at the end of the day.

Especially as Million learns to communicate more with his words (Thank you, Jesus!), we are getting better at figuring out these needs.

Really, in our home, we only have two rules.  The first is to use our bodies gently towards other people and animals. (We're not even working really on possessions yet.  We'll get there.)  The second rule is to respond correctly when Mama or Daddy says "Come, Stop, or No!"

Only two rules.

And we've been trying to be consistent not only for the sake of making parenting easier, but because Million NEEDS consistency.  He hasn't had that in his life.  He needs to know "when I do this at home it has the same consequences as when I do this at Grandma and Grandpa's house."

I really have no conclusion to these thoughts.  They've just been swirling in my head.

Of course, I'll likely get comments like "just follow God's Word.  It will be a lamp onto your feet and a light onto your path."  We do try to incorporate wisdom from God's word and Godly practices into our parenting.  This post isn't about needing wisdom (although we DO need that.)  It's about needing discernment.  There is a difference between the two.

So tra la la.  End of post.  Not end of thoughts. 

Looking Back

A year ago earlier this week, a little 5 month-old boy was brought from an orphanage in one of the southern regions of Ethiopia to live in Addis Ababa at a transition home there.  They didn't speak his language.  He was sick with chronic respiratory issues.  He weighed approximately 11 pounds.  

This year he still has the same respiratory illnesses.  He is again dealing with a new language and a new place to live.  

But he is resilient.  

He is strong. 

He is filled with life and a personality of his own.

He is our son.

Slices of Autumn

All three little scenes of Minnesota autumn near my parents' house.

And then this is just a note to say: "hey, everyone! I'm sure you knew this, but you can print on burlap!"

Ha ha ha ha ha....Wipe Out!!!!

The flu has me wiped out.
As has the "9 days until we make a crucial life-changing, and either elating or depressing financial decision" bug.  I'm sure many of you are savvy enough to know to which decision I refer.  (See that?  I didn't end the sentence with a preposition, even though I innately cringe at the results!!!)

Yeah, that post last week wasn't about adoption stuff.  Not a bit.  Although it relates indirectly to it.

So for today, you just get to see our cute son on my brother's hammock.

Dear Lord, please do not allow our stresses and concerns to negatively affect the way that we parent this week.  Help us to trust you.  Amen.